Elevate Your Status - 5 Ways that Women Can Get Ahead
My passion in my role as a public speaking coach and workshop facilitator is to elevate women’s voices. This is why I created the Big Voices Masterclass (soon to become an online course in July 2022!). The same goes for the under-represented in any form: people of colour, Indigenous people and racialized people of any variety; differently abled and physically challenged people; people on the spectrum; people managing mental health issues; people within the LGBTQ2 realm; people facing poverty. We’ve heard from the same people in power for hundreds of years, and look at where we are.
We need change. And in order to succeed in that regard, we need to hear voices we have not heard. And in order for that to happen, these under-represented voices need to learn how to speak up, and how to elevate their own status within a system currently built for the usual regime.
It’s not going to be easy, but having tools to succeed will vastly improve the odds.
With that in mind, here are FIVE ways that you can elevate your status at work, in order to reach your goals and move forward. Are you ready?
MAKE YOUR PHYSICAL STATURE BIGGER
If you’re unfamiliar with Amy Cuddy’s groundbreaking TED Talk, give it a watch. (Yes, there are conflicting opinions about her research, but I am #IStandWithAmy when it comes to this work. I invite you to read more about it and see what you think.) We take physical stature into consideration when we’re analyzing whether or not somebody is a threat or an ally. Women, traditionally, have taken up less space. We are physically smaller, but we also tend to fold into ourselves and take on the role as the assistant instead of being the Boss and taking up a lot of physical presence.
Keeping in mind that many of us learn how to hold ourselves from our Mothers, who have been passed along generations of potential threat and violence, it’s no wonder this is our “go to” - blend into the background, stay quiet, don’t get hurt. This is not an area to gloss over - it requires internal work, sometimes, to be able to stand tall and have a bold physical presence. Go easy on yourself if this is difficult for you.
Use your physicality to literally stand up to people. Recently, I was in an argument with someone and I noticed that my chest was concaved forward, and my shoulders were rounded. I immediately used Alexander Technique principles to lift myself up, and it completely changed the dynamic. I mean it - physical presence is powerful.
(Learn how to stand, take up space and hold your ground using Alexander Technique from my free public speaking guide!)
USE YOUR POWERFUL VOICE
Not unlike our tendency to take up less space, generations of trauma have also taught us to speak quietly and with higher, softer voices. I have worked with so many women who are shocked to discover the sounds that they can make. Low, loud, booming voices are available to all of us by discovering our Optimum Pitch, using deep breathing and our diaphragms and, most importantly, getting over our fear of being too loud.
I have shut down absolute nonsense by busting out my optimum pitch on several occasions. If you find that you are constantly interrupted, or if your colleagues aren’t focusing in on what you’re saying, make them listen by using your powerful voice. It can feel jarring at first, but once you learn how much power you have by using your voice, you’ll never go back.
(Learning how to find your Optimum Pitch is also part of my free public speaking guide!)
BE PREPARED
“Practise makes perfect” is truth. Once you see something coming down the pipeline, start to get organized right away. Whether it’s delivering a presentation at work, giving a speech, or simply speaking up at a work meeting, get your pieces together as soon as possible so that you give yourself the gift of practise. Use your physical stature and your strong voice to deliver your presentation excellently. If you’re working to persuade somebody, and it doesn’t work out, at least you’ll know you presented yourself well, and that will always serve you down the line. Make a promise to yourself to show up confidently, because you are prepared.
What does that look like? Practising your speech or presentation every day until the event, making adjustments as needed. Making sure you’ve compiled all of the relevant information. Have answers ready for the inevitable questions. Prepare to have questions that you didn’t see coming, and familiarize yourself with controlled breathing so that you can stay calm in a stressful situation. Use this as an opportunity to showcase yourself as a competent and engaged person (even if you’re just presenting quarterly stats!)
SHUT DOWN BAD BEHAVIOUR
Part of the reason it can be tricky to elevate your status at work is that this will be seen as threatening by some people, men and women alike. If, up until now, confidence has been difficult for you, some of your colleagues may try to “put you back in your place”. To be honest, they might not even understand that they are doing this. But you will feel it, and you must decide ahead of time that you will shut it down. Do not allow yourself to be bullied, to be treated as less than, to be ignored, to be talked over, to be interrupted. Call it out.
Again, this might be instinctual from previous trauma, but as women, we are trained to be nice, even when people are purposefully not being nice to us. But you need to acknowledge that garbage, and just like Elsa, you need to let. it. go. Let it go. You are not required to be nice to people who are actively keeping you down. Call it out! “Excuse me, you interrupted me.” “I see you insinuating that my stats are incorrect. Show me what’s wrong.” “It’s my turn to speak.” “I’m right, and here’s why.” Again, use your tools: your physical status, your voice, and call it out.
Read my blog post about overcoming what you think you are: You Are Not One Thing.
ASK FOR WHAT YOU DESERVE
In negotiations, women under-represent our worth. Probably because society has shown us time and again that we’re not worth as much as men. (A cursory search can show you the myriad of ways that we value men over women. Here’s a quick google about how medical research focuses on men.)
This affects our negotiating power because we undersell ourselves and ask for less than men who do the same work. Ask. For. What. You. Deserve. Do research - find out what your true value is. Come prepared with facts, lay it out on the table, and ask for your worth. Use all of your skills - controlled breathing, powerful voice, physical stature, preparedness - stay calm and focused.
This is often excruciatingly difficult for women. It takes practise - you might not achieve what you hope on the first try. But if you’re not advocating for yourself, as horrifying and stressful as it might feel, nobody else will. Plus, it gets easier. It really does. And you deserve it.
As mentioned, I outline a lot of these tools in a “how to” format in my free public speaking guide.
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Do you have more questions, or comments? I’d love to hear from you! Please comment below, or send me an email. If you use these tools and find success, I want to know!
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Have you ever wondered what it would be like to having speaking, visibility and confidence coaching? Are you curious to try, but not ready to make the financial commitment? Let me help!
1. Make sure you have downloaded and read through my FREE public speaking guide.
2. Make sure you have a Twitter account - you can sign up for one here - and that you follow me.
3. Check out the hashtag: #JanuarySpeakUp, and commit to doing 5 minutes as many days as you can, using the techniques you've learned from the free guide.
4. Choose the passage you like the best, and make a video of yourself reading it aloud up to a maximum of 2 minutes. (Most phones and digital cameras can create videos. If you're not sure how to do that, I'm happy to help! Hit reply to this email.)
5. Email me that you have a video ready at megan@ubuskills.com, and I'll let you know how to get it to me.
6. I send you FREE feedback within a week!
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