Nonverbal Communication in a Digital Era
Whether we are aware of it or not, nonverbal communication is equal to and sometimes more important than verbal communication. Nonverbal communication enhances, illustrates, and makes us interact in order to fully engage with each other and increase our levels of communication.
Types of Nonverbal Communication
Facial Expressions
Gestures
Paralinguistics (vocal communication separate from language)
Body Language
Proxemics (how close or far you keep to a person/crowd)
Eye Gaze
Haptics (use of touch)
Appearance
(Source: https://www.verywellmind.com/types-of-nonverbal-communication-2795397)
Try to imagine our text-heavy world without emojis. We use them to convey intention. Without the emojis, we can send a message wrapped in the wrong tone, creating confusion or other pretty unpleasant miscommunication.
For example: I receive a text asking how I’m doing. If I respond:
Fine.
What do you think? Do I seem fine?
That has a much different tone than:
Fine. :)
If I say to you, “Hi, my name is Megan Hamilton” in a quiet and robotic voice, with hunched shoulders, while looking past your eyes at the wall behind you, that gives you a clear understanding of what I think of myself. My robotic voice lets you know I’ve disengaged from what I’m saying. If I’m too quiet for you to hear, it gives the impression that I don’t think my message has value, that it doesn’t deserve to be heard.
Physically, my shoulders are hunched, letting you know I’m trying to fold into myself and hide. That I don’t want to take up space. It signals nervousness or low self esteem. Even fear.
Eye contact signals confidence and a desire for communication. Eye contact allows the listener to be seen, giving them the opportunity to engage. If I’m looking at the wall, or a forehead, or anything other than the person I’m speaking to (or group of people), it cuts off our ability to communicate with our eyes. It doesn’t allow me to see how they are reacting, and so it keeps the communication one-sided.
Nonverbal Communication through a computer?
So how do we communicate well when we have a computer screen between us? When we’re not in the same room?
Keep your eyes on the person with whom you are speaking. Despite the fact that you’re not in the same room, you can pick up just about everything from that person’s face that you’ll need to understand their intent. Avoid looking at yourself (quick hair checks are okay, but how many times have you talked to somebody who is clearly speaking to their image? Are they even paying attention to you?) If you’re speaking to a group, speak directly to the camera.
Focus. There are so many distractions available right now. Your phone. Your open browser tabs. Various beeps and pop ups on your computer. Your child. (That should be a blog post on its own - parenting and working from home…) Stay focused. Concentrate on the person or people that are in the meeting. Notice their behaviours and mannerisms and shut down as much of the other “noise” as possible so that you can really engage in your meeting.
Present yourself as you otherwise would in person. This can be really tough for some people. Show up on time, be dressed appropriately, speak in a clear and confident voice, sit using Alexander Technique. If you come to the meeting with notes, use text mapping to mark them up well. (All of these techniques can be found in my free guide - grab it here.)
Imagine the other person is actually in the room with you. I’m finding this to get easier the more time I spend on Zoom/Teams/Skype. It also triggers my emotional and connection response to that person so that I can be authentic despite the strange, digital circumstances.
Over time, we will begin to meet in-person again, but my hunch is that we will also have many more Zoom meetings in place of in-person in the coming months, regardless. Understanding how your nonverbal communication skills can enhance these meetings - make them more personal - will mean that you’re more effective in your communication, but also that you’ll get more out of it.
Let me know what you think in the comments below, and shoot me an email if you have any questions!
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