What Mythical Scorned Woman Archetype Are You?
And how is it affecting your visibility and confidence?
Ah, the scorned woman. Hell hath no fury, right?
Even as I type this my eyes are rolling into the back of my head from the centuries of people trying to blame all of their problems on everyone else.
Ever wonder what life could look like now if certain people had just got therapy?
But instead of focusing on the assholes of history, let’s instead focus on the sneaky ways that these “scorned women” archetypes have seeped into our storylines and stopped us from unleashing the furies that live within, I mean, keep us from expanding into our fullest potential.
Use the sections called “How to overcome the obstacle” as journal prompts to figure out how and why you might be affected, how to notice and heal from it, and what you might do to move away from these behaviours that don’t let you grow.
Let us know in the comments which archetype[s] you relate to most and one step you’ll take to start to untangle from the harmful stereotypes.
Medusa
I could write a book about why I love Medusa so much, but here’s a tl;dr: In grade 2 I fell from the monkey bars into the sand and scraped half my face. Clash of the Titans came out that year. The bullies called me Medusa for years. I named my first theatre company after her [Medusa Productions]. She has a permanent place on my alter, and I thank her every day for always seeing me through.
There are so many versions of the myth, but here’s the one I use: Medusa was a beautiful woman in Athena’s realm. Poseidon r*ped her [some texts say seduced] in Athena’s temple, which made Athena angry. Instead of punishing the God of the sea, she turned Medusa into a snaky-haired Gorgon who was so ugly and so full of rage and shame, that she turned whoever looked at her into stone.
Ways you might relate: difficulty being perceived; constantly want revenge for injustice; longing for a younger/more attractive version of yourself.
Visibility blocks: can’t be on camera or on stage; find it difficult to trust people.
How to overcome the obstacle: Focus on the history of your challenges. What’s the origin story for you? Where have you held yourself responsible for actions done to you? How could you see your story differently, with more compassion for yourself, and how could you start down a new path in the role of the heroine instead of the monster?
Cassandra
Apollo fell in love with Cassandra and to try and woo her, gave her the gift of prophecy, i.e. she could foresee the future. But Cassandra rejected Apollo, which he didn’t love, so instead of just taking back her gift, he put a curse on her that nobody would believe her. Cute move, Apollo.
Ways you might relate: getting gaslit that the truth you’re telling isn’t accurate; feeling stressed when you know the truth about something.
Visibility blocks: not speaking up because you think people won’t believe you; always feeling like you need to prove yourself.
How to overcome the obstacle: How can you practice divesting from other peoples’ opinions of your expertise? How could you respond to expert debaters [“devil’s advocates”] with simple answers that illustrate their tactics instead of truth? How can you learn nervous system regulation tools [controlled breathing, somatic release, therapy] to stay calm and focused when folks are trying to steal your power?
The Sirens
Bird women with beautiful songs and voices just waiting in the water to destroy men. Sounds like a woman to me, amirite?
Ways you might relate: your beauty and ability to influence or persuade folks is seen as superficial or not as deserved as others; people might think you “slept” or seduced your way to the top.
Visibility blocks: altering how you look to be less attractive; staying under the radar to avoid being chastised or shunned; not speaking up to avoid unwanted attention.
How to overcome the obstacle: How can you alleviate yourself from absorbing harsh judgement from others? If concern about your reputation wasn’t an issue, how would you dress? What could you do to be the most you version of yourself? What do you find yourself not saying and how could you slowly stop censoring yourself?
Philomel[a]
This sweetie was r*ped [again, “seduced” depending on the text] by her brother-in-law, Tereus, and in order that she couldn’t tell anybody, he cut out her tongue. At least in this story she gets revenge and turns into a nightingale. See also: Lavinia from Titus Andronicus.
Ways you might relate: unusual stress around people in power; somebody disempowered you through some form of abuse [power, gaslighting, physical violence, etc.]
Visibility blocks: you can’t speak up to people in power; staying under the radar to avoid potential trouble; inability to find your own power.
How to overcome the obstacle: What is the source of all of this? What are the patterns of behaviour that create the scenarios that leave you feeling powerless? How can you tap into your inner nightingale and sing out your whole self?
Witch
Whether the witch trials of Scotland, or the Salem witch trials, or the ongoing witch hunts that happen even today [see Calaban and the Witch by Sylvia Federici], strong and non-compliant women have throughout history been persecuted and murdered by folks who knew their power could upset the rigidity of the status quo. Of course we’re talking about actual witch hunts, not pretend “stolen” presidential elections.
Ways you might relate: people are afraid of you just for being yourself; you’re the black sheep of the family/group; people in power develop messed up ways to try and tame you; in certain situations, it feels like you can’t do anything right/people want you out.
Visibility blocks: you temper your true self to avoid getting “burned” [i.e. getting fired, losing an opportunity]; you don’t speak up against injustice in order to stay safe.
How to overcome the obstacle: Where might this have been an issue in your ancestral line, so that folks have tried to stay safe by staying small, and kept their children safe by passing down these behaviours? Who benefits from the belief that you’re a problem? What could you achieve if you were able to embody your full power?
Ophelia
Poor fragile, tragic Ophelia. So beautiful. So breakable. Her unbalanced boyfriend kills her controlling father and of course this causes her to descend into madness that is portrayed as reverting to childlike behaviour. [You may recall Helena Bonham Carter’s portrayal in Zeffirelli’s Hamlet as an oh-so-brittle-and-frail Ophelia, but f her forever for having an affair with Kenneth Branagh, yet another Hamlet, * eyeroll *, when we all know that Emma Thompson is and always will be the GOAT. See Love Actually for receipts.]
Ways you might relate: the behaviour of your significant other plays a large role in your baseline mental health; fingering herbs in the grocery store and remarking “there’s rosemary, that’s for remembrance” [just kidding]; you believe in the “knight in shining armour” myth.
Visibility blocks: giving over so much of your power and decision-making to your father or significant other; feeling like you can’t handle challenging situations and let other people coddle you; never wanting to, or feeling like you’re “allowed” to, make decisions about your own life.
How to overcome the obstacle: What’s the story that you grew up with around romantic relationships and their roles? Where could you take control over decisions in your life? What would you need to do to create independence out of interdependence? What would you do if you didn’t feel burdened by parental or romantic drains of your time and energy?
Let’s rewrite these stupid myths
When I tell you how tired I am of these stereotypical tropes that hold some of the brightest lights from their glow, I mean it. Once you start to see how all of this stuff that you believed is actually just yet another mechanism of control, you can’t unsee it.
Let your rage and frustration fuel you like a green goddess rice bowl. Let your commitment to yourself drive you forward like the wild horses of the Chilcotin Plateau. May the snakes in your hair bite the hand that wants to keep you down, and let your truth be heard by those who deserve you in their lives.
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Hi! I’m Megan! If you’re new around here, I’m a speaking, visibility and confidence coach. I’m also a speaker and emcee, the Speaker Advisor at the award-winning TEDxQueensU, a musician, and the host of the Embracing Enchantment podcast on the Women in Media Network.
Curious about how my work can support you? Check out the Work With Me section, or take a look at the variety of free workbooks I’ve got in the Tools section.
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