Top 5 Public Speaking Notes from 30+ Years on Stages
From last Wednesday through Sunday, I was working at the Kingston Canadian Film Festival, the largest all Canadian fest in the world.
I was moderating about 10 films, which meant that I spoke to the audience ahead of the film, introducing myself, thanking sponsors, doing the land acknowledgement and introducing whoever the guest in attendance was (director, writer, producer - sometimes all 3!).
After the film, I brought up the guest and asked questions relating to the film, sparking conversation, before opening the floor up to the audience.
There were a lot of moving parts and touch points. I had to chat with the venue manager, and then the person stage managing the specific event. We'd figure out timing, hand signals and general communication on the fly. I did this for every film.
Sometimes things changed last minute so I had to be flexible. Sometimes I was flying from film to film, so I had to be prepared with food, water, a pen and anything else I might need in the moment. (I worked from 12:30pm-11:30pm straight on Friday, so I had to have food on hand or else I would have got pretttttty weird pretty quick.)
Now, I've been doing stuff like this for over 30 years. But when I tell you that I was nervous at the beginning of my stint last week, I ain't kiddin.
I kept thinking "what is wrong with me? I know how to do this!" I felt blocked, robotic, tongue-tied at times, my energy was off. I kept thinking "everyone can clearly see that I'm terrible at this".
And by the end of the festival? The exact opposite. I was calm, confident, funny, engaging.
Yesterday I did nothing. Well that's not true. I ate snacks, tried to read my book (before the dog lay down right on top of me), and then fell asleep in that position for 3 hours. When I tell you I didn't move, I mean that I don't remember having had that deep of a sleep in months.
And I had some time to reflect on my speaking journey last week.
The most important things to know about public speaking
1. Things never turn out how they’re supposed to. Flexibility is a must.
Here's some stuff that was unexpected: I showed up to moderate at one venue and found out there were no mics so I'd have to project my voice to the theatre (good thing I have training in that, lol); one of the guests texted me that she wouldn't be able to make the opening, but would be there for the Q&A so I had to quickly adjust my intro; I was juggling home life and work life and at one point there was a snag in our well crafted plan of who has to get driven where and at what time, so I arrived later than I'd hoped, and had to very quickly bring my energy levels back to calm; at one event, the person who was the subject of the film couldn't make it last minute, so I had to figure out how to announce the news without disappointing the guests. And then other small things, like "ok you've got 5 minutes, no wait sorry, go NOW".
You have to bring a flexible energy to the table so you don't get stuck.
2. You can feel like a failure if you still get nervous. You’re not.
Day 1 was different than day 5. When I took stock of what was weird about the first couple of intros (which, by the way, by all accounts were totally fine), I remembered: I'm coming out of an intensely stressful few weeks after an intensely stressful 8 months (more on that later, maybe), I still haven't had more than a handful of opportunities to speak in front of a big groups in person since the pandemic; and folks were not there for me. That can feel weird because I have to win them over! (Usually if I'm on stage, they're there to see me, whether it's for a speech, a workshop or a music gig.)
3. You being yourself is always the best option but sometimes you can’t break through a wall and that’s just where you’re going to be that day
As I was adjusting to being in performance mode, I had to keep going back to my basics as I'd get off track. Step 1: Standing. Step 2: Breathing. (If you don't have my public speaking guide that goes over this stuff, grab it here.) I knew I'd catch my wave, but until I did, I had to use my system to get grounded and to "know what to do". And that's exactly the reason why I created that 4 part system in the first place!
4. Putting all of your worth into one gig will surely fuck with your self esteem.
Folks, for those of you who want to be speakers, and I see it over and over with clients, never put all of your expectations on one gig. Speaking is an evolving journey. The more you practice, the better you become. But rarely will one gig be the thing that skyrockets your career. It's a mixture of learning great performance technique, having something compelling to say, doing your homework before and after the gig (grab my free workbook for that) to leverage the opportunity, and constantly seeking opportunities to practise on stages to develop yourself.
But if you put everything you have into something and it doesn't go as planned, the devastation from that can keep you from learning from the experience and moving forward.
5. The message is ALWAYS the most important thing but that message needs to be conveyed somehow which is why technique is imperative.
In University I watched my 97 year old (possibly an exaggeration) Professor read Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man word for word to the class over several weeks. I could tell you in great detail every single age spot on his bald head because he never looked up once.
It was excruciating. And a great example that you can have an absolute classic of a message, arguably one of the greatest books of all time in this case, and if the person delivering the message doesn't know how to do that well, it will not land.
If one more "seasoned" speaker tells me they don't need coaching because they're already good at what they do... "Well, ok, but do you want to be good or do you want to be incredible?"
As for me, I choose “incredible”, knowing that it’s an ongoing pursuit.
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Have you ever been surprised at how nervous you felt on stage? Let us know in the comments!
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If you're tired of perpetually feeling like I did on that first day, and worried you'll never get better at this stuff, I can help! My Dynamic Presence program is a 1:1 hybrid of coaching and training to help you evolve into confidence and power whenever the spotlight is upon you (even if it's just 3 people on an interview panel).
Check out Dynamic Presence here.
If have experience with speaking but want to skyrocket your visibility and turn it into a career, my Legacy Power is the way to go. Learn how to pitch to media, to leverage your speaking events to create new ones, and to have me in your back pocket coaching and directing you all along the way!
Check out Legacy Power here.
