Figuring out 2021.
Whether or not you choose to use the Gregorian calendar to mark time, I’m a big fan of stopping, taking stock, and moving forward.
This is why I often combine my practise of reading tarot cards with the moon - it’s an easy and cyclical way to take a pause, look everything over, figure out what’s working and what isn’t, and then go forward fully equipped with an understanding of where you’re at, and more importantly, what you want.
And so here we are in November, 2021. Probably not where we expected to be in November 2020. Some people thing this pandemic is basically over, others haven’t left their houses since March of last year, and others still think the whole thing is a conspiracy or is overblown.
Here’s a truth: globally, we experienced something massive. Things happened that have never happened in our lifetime. Inequality has quickly been revealed (if you hadn’t been paying attention before). Fragile systems exposed. Political conflict risen to the surface.
And I don’t know about you, but I’ve been on autopilot for several months now, and often the slightest thing will send me to tears. (That could also be the perimenopause, but let’s pretend it’s the pandemic.)
So I’ve come up with a series of questions to help you take stock, remember what you love, decide what to ditch that isn’t working, and clear some space for joy and new opportunities.
And if you love shadow work journaling, I’ve created a companion one sheet (grab it here) just for shadow work, to take a look at any icky stuff you might have been ignoring. Make sure you’ve got my Me and My Shadow shadow work workbook to help with the journaling!
Grab your paper and pens (or open up a blank doc), and let’s get started…
Head on back to January/February 2020…
Think back to the months before the pandemic. What was going on in your life? What goals had you created for 2020? Where were you at financially? What were you looking forward to? What were you dreading? Write out as much as you can remember.
For example, I had just started a new job as a part time Prof at St. Lawrence college. I was about to start the Make It Work Online program. I was still working full time at my previous job, as well, and I was seeing clients for ubu skills. My plan was to leave my full time job in April.
2. Contrast and Compare
Take a look at where you’re at now. Who was in your life that isn’t any longer? What goals did you manage to achieve within the past 2 years? What’s still on the list? What is no longer on the list? Where do you feel happier? Where do you want to improve? How is your financial situation compared to then? What do you no longer spend money on? What works? What doesn’t work?
For example: I had meant to quit my job in April of 2020, but didn’t until July. I had hoped to be traveling again by now, but we aren’t there, yet. I have let a few folks in my life go who were causing more pain than joy.
3. Your proud moments
Take a minute to write out every single thing that you can remember that you’re proud of for this year (and for 2020 if you want). This can include achievements that others would recognize, and can also include personal achievements that maybe you’re the only one to know about.
For example: I had several inner epiphanies that I kept to myself, mostly because I knew nobody else would really get it and I hold them sacred. I’ve also more than doubled my income from last year, which I didn’t really share with anybody (well, I guess I am now, with you.)
Note: I’m not going to make a space here to write out your shadow moments. I’ll leave that to the shadow work one sheet I made for this blog post, that you can grab here.
4. Make room for joy
Now that you’ve taken the time to really take a look at the big and the small over the past while, let’s look ahead. Instead of making a list of new year’s resolutions (which I might do for a future blog post - I like to do resolutions, even though lots of you don’t!), let’s instead make some room for joy. Whether or not you’ve done the shadow work from the one sheet or not, it’s so important to be clear about what you want (personal goals or otherwise), so that you’re moving forward on purpose, instead of just getting caught in the stream (which is sometimes, ok, too.) So here are some fun, affirming questions:
What do you love to do and want to do more of?
Who do you love to spend time with? How can you spend more time with them? Or if you already spend a good amount with them, what kind of adventures do you hope to go on with them?
What’s your favourite meal? How often do you have it? Is it for special occasions or every day? Why is it your favourite meal? (That’s tough, isn’t it? Could be smell, memories, way it makes you feel, associations…)
How can you help folks more? (If you already help a lot and are burned out, just move on…) What kind of helping are you really good at? How does helping make you feel? Can you put some dates into your calendar to accommodate this kind of help?
What are some loose ends that need tying up? Write them all out. Now put each of them in the calendar. Try to space them out so you don’t get overwhelmed, but how GOOD will it feel to get this stuff dealt with? (And guess what else - when you have a plan, this stuff can feel so much less overwhelming!)
What does your best day look like? Who’s there? What are you doing? What do you need to make this happen? Can you put one of these days per month into the calendar? (Finances, folks and timing might play a part here depending on what it is…)
Do you sleep enough? What small steps can you take to get on a better schedule? If you already sleep enough, way to go!
How many times/day do you walk or move your body? Are you satisfied with that? What can you do to get satisfied? What gear do you need to eliminate weather excuses? Holidays sales are coming… make a list!
The list of questions can go on, and by now you’ve probably figured out how to frame them. I focus a lot on shadow work in my practise because it tends to be the underlying, hidden stuff that holds people back from stepping into their badassery, but I wanted to take a minute to step away from the leading questions into the darkness of your psyche, and focus on creating space for joy.
Because that can walk right alongside shadow work, and is especially helpful for the times when we don’t have the energy or mental capacity to do shadow work.
Let me know what resonated with you here, and if it sparked any curiosity or “aha” moments for you! Send me an email, or let me know in the comments below.
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